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it is fit they should but once more i swear befor

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it is fit they should.but once more, i swear before heaven that your base charges are false.go, and by honest, manly confession, try and win her back to life, and obtain her forgiveness.tell her that i kept my word, even to making myself for her sake a coward in the eyes of the world.as he ceased speaking, he turned from sir murray to gaze down in his wifes face.there was a sad, despairing look in his countenance, though, that troubled her; it was the same drawn, haggard aspect that she had looked on years before; but as she clung to him closer and closer, twining her arms more tightly round him, and trying to draw that pale, scarred face to hers, the wild, scared aspect slowly faded away, for from her eyes he seemed to draw life and hope, and at last, with a sigh that seemed torn from his breasts utmost depths, he pressed his lips upon her forehead, and then turned once more to confront his accuser.but they were alone; for, after listening with conflicting thoughts to nortons words, sir murray gernon had slowly turned upon his heel, leaving the room, unnoticed.book 1, chapter xvii.janes heart.oh, dear!oh, dear! what shall i do?what shall i do? sobbed jane barker.what a wicked set we must all be for the troubles to come bubbling and rolling over us like this in a great waterflood.theres poor sir murray halfmad with grief, shutting himself up in his library, and never hardly so much as eating or drinking a bit.theres my own dear, sweet lady lying there day after day, with the lids shut down over those poor soft eyes of hers, never moving, and nobody knowing whether shes living or dead, only when she gives one of those little sobbing sighs.and then theres the poor old rector, coming every day over and over again to see how she is, and looking as if his heart would break; and poor mrs elstree wandering up and down the passages like a ghost.oh, dear!oh, dear!oh, dear! the place isnt like the same, and i dont know whats to become of us all.one didnt need to have jewels missing, and poor servants suspected of taking them, and sent away without a months warning, and not a bit of character.but oh, john! john!john! it wasnt a months warning you had, but many months warning; and it wasnt you stole the cross, but let something steal away all your good heart and good looks too.here jane barker burst out into a passionate fit of weeping, sobbing as though her heart would break.she was sitting by her open windowone looking over a part of the shrubbery which concealed the servants offices from the view of those who strolled through the grounds.it was not the first night by many that jane had sat there bewailing her troubles, for it had become a favourite custom with her to sit there, thoughtful and silent, till her passionate grief brought forth some such outburst as the above.busy the whole day at her work about the sickchamber of her lady, jane told herself that at such times there was something else for her to do beside sorrowing; but when at midnight all about was wrapped in silence, the poor girl would sit or kneel at her window, mourning and crying for hour after hour.oh, my poor dear lady!if it should come to the worst, and her never to look upon the little soft face of that sweet babe, sent to be a comfort to her when shes been so solitary and unhappy all these years; for she has been.oh! these menthese men!they break our poor hearts, they do!why didnt the captain come back sooner and make her happy? or why didnt he die in real earnest over in the hot ingies, where they said he was killed, and not come back just then to make her heart sore, as i know it has been ever since? though, poor soul, she loves, honours, and obeys her husband as she should.there didnt never ought to be any marrying at all, for its always been an upset to me ever since i thought about it; and him such a proper man, too, as he used to besuch a nice red and white face, and always so smart till he took to the drink; as i told him, he got to love it ever so much better than he loved me, though he always coaxed me round into forgiving him.i always knew it was weak; but then i couldnt help it, and i didnt make myself; and if poor women are made weak and helpless, what can they do? i always told him it would be his ruin, and begged of him to give it upand oh! the times hes kissed me and promised me he would!and then for it to come to this.hed never have said such cruel things about my lady if it had not been for the drink; and though id forgive him almost anything, i couldnt forgive him for speaking as he did.i do think he likes me, and that it isnt all for the sake of the bit of money, which he might have and welcome if it would do him any good.if he would only leave off writing to me, and asking me to meet him when he knows i darent, and every letter breaking my heart, and at a time, too, when ive got nowhere to go and sit down and cry.no; let him mend a bit, and show me that hes left off the drink, and my poor dear lady get well first, and ill leave directly, as i told him i would, and work and slave for him all my life, just for the sake of a few kind words; for i know im only a poor ignorant woman; but i can love him veryvery much, and jane stopped short, listening attentively, for at that moment there was a faint rustling sound beneath the window, and then, after a few minutes interval, another and another; a soft rustling sound as of something forcing its way gently amongst the bushes and low shrubs, for at times a step was audible amongst the dead leaves, and once there came a loud crack, as if a foot had been set upon a dry twig which had snapped sharply.then there was utter silence again, and the girl sat listening with pale face, lips apart, and her breath drawn with difficulty, as her heart beat with a heavy throb, throb, throb, at the unwonted sound.it could not be one of the dogs, for they were all chained up; and if it had been a strange step she felt that they would have barked, and given some alarm.the deer never came near the house, and it was extremely doubtful whether any of the cattle in the great park could have strayed into the private grounds through some gate having been left open.her heart told her what the noise was, and accelerated its beats with excitement, so that when, after a renewal of the soft rustling, she heard a sound as of hard breathing, and then a husky voice whispering her name, she was in no wise surprised.tsttst, jane! seemed to come out of the black darkness belowa darkness that she in vain tried to penetrate.oh, why did you comewhy did you come? sobbed jane.somebody will be sure to hear you, and then youll be in worse trouble than ever, besides getting me turned out of my place.oh, john!oh, john! how can you be such a cruel fellow! hold your tongue, will you, and dont be a fool, was the husky reply.im going to have you away from here, jenny, in a few days, and then his proudship shall have some letters as shall make him pay me to hold my tongue, or else have all his pride tumbling about his ears.oh, you wicked wretch! muttered jane to herself, for his words roused her slumbering resentment, and drove her troubles away for the present.can you hear all i say? whispered the voice from below.yes, whispered jane again; but what do you want?oh, pray, pray go! yes, said gurdon.ill go when ive done; but i want to talk to you first.whos at home?is he here? who?master?yes, whispered jane, and the doctor, and my ladys pa: theyre all here, for shes been very bad tonight.but are they all gone to bed? whispered gurdon.yes, all but mrs elstree, whos sitting up in my ladys room.come down then, softly, into the passage and open the lobby door; you can let me in then, through the billiardroom.that im sure im not going to! exclaimed jane, indignantly, and you ought to be ashamed of yourself for asking me such a thing.it isnt like you, john.hold your tongue, will you! he exclaimed, gruffly.do you want to be heard, and have me shot by one of the keepers, or some one fire at me from one of the windows? nnno, gasped jane; but pray do go; pray, dear john, go away! ah, youre very anxious to get rid of me now, said gurdon, sneeringly, for he could hear that jane was sobbing; i may go now, just because i made a slip, and you want to see me no more
publish 2022-08-02,browse 43

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