bartlett, that he wished he had never seen italy? and may not the poor clementina, and all her family, for her sake, wish he never had? if an opportunity offers, i dont know, but i may ask sir charles, whether, in his conscience, he thinks, that, taking in every consideration, relating to time, expense, risques of life, health, morals, this part of the fashionable education of youth of condition is such an indispensable one, as some seem to suppose it? if sir charles grandison give it not in favour of travelling, i believe it will be concluded, that six parts out of eight of the little masters who are sent abroad for improvement, might as well be kept at home; if, especially, they would be orderly, and let their fathers and mothers know what to do with them. o, my uncle! i am afraid of you: but spare the poor girl: she acknowledges her petulance, her presumption. the occasion you know, and will pity her for it! however, neither petulance nor presumption shall make her declare as her sentiments what really are not so, in her unprejudiced hours; and she hopes to have her heart always open to conviction. for the present, adieu, my lucy. p.s. dr. bartlett tells me, that mr. beauchamp is at calais, waiting the pleasure of his father; and that sir harry has sent express for him, as at his ladys motion. letter x miss byron.in continuation tuesday, april 4. sir charles grandison came to town last night. he was so polite as to send to inquire after my health; and to let mr. reeves know, that he would do himself the honour, as he called it, of breakfasting with him this morning. very ceremonious either for his own sake or for mine perhaps for both. so i am in expectation of seeing within this halfhour, the noble clementinas futureah lucy! the compliment, you see, is to mr. reevesshall i stay above, and see if he will ask for me? he owes me something for the emotion he gave me in lord ls library. very little of him since have i seen. honour forbids me, said he, then: yet honour bids me.but i cannot be ungenerous, selfish.these words are still in my ear.what could he mean by them?honour forbids mewhat! to explain himself? he had been telling me a tender tale: he had ended it. what did honour forbid him to do?yet honour bids me! why then did he not follow the dictates of honour? but i cannot be unjust:to clementina he means. who wished him to be so?unjust! i hope not. it is a diminution to your glory, sir charles grandison, to have the word unjust, in this way of speaking, in your thoughts! as if a good man had lain under a temptation to be unjust; and had but just recollected himself. i cannot be ungenerous. to the noble lady, i suppose? he must take compassion on her. and did he think himself under an obligation to my forwardness to make this declaration to me, as to one who wished him to be ungenerous to such a lady for my sake!i cannot bear the thought of this. is it not as if he had said, fond harriet, i see what you expect from mebut i must have compassion for, i cannot be ungenerous to, clementina!but, what a poor word is compassion! noble clementina! i grieve for you, though the man be indeed a generous man!o defend me, my better genius, from wanting the compassion even of a sir charles grandison! but what means he by the word selfish! he cannot be selfish!i comprehend not the meaning of this wordclementina has a very high fortuneharriet but a very middling one. he cannot be unjust, ungenerous to clementinanor yet selfishthis word confounds me, from a man that says nothing at random! well, but breakfasttime is come, while i am busy in selfdebatings. i will go down, that i may not seem to affect parade. i will endeavour to see with indifference, him that we have all been admiring and studying for this last fortnight, in such a variety of lights. the christian: the hero: the friend:ah, lucy! the lover of clementina: the generous kinsman of lord w: the modest and delicate benefactor of the mansfields: the free, gay, raillier of lady beauchamp; and, in her, of all our sexs foibles! but he is come! while i am prating to you with my pen, he is comewhy, lucy, would you detain me?now must the fool go down in a kind of hurry: yet stay till she is sent for.and that is now. letter xi miss byron.in continuation o lucy, i have such a conversation to relate to you!but let me lead to it. sir charles met me at the opening of the door. he was all himself. such an unaffected modesty and politeness; yet such an ease and freedom! i thought, by his address, that he would have taken my hand; and both hands were so emulatively passivehow does he manage it to be so free in a first address, yet so respectful, that a princess could not blame him! after breakfast, my cousins being sent for out to attend sir john allestree and his niece, sir charles and i were left alone: and then, with an air equally solemn and free, he addressed himself to me. the last time i had the honour of being alone with my good miss byron, i told her a very tender tale. i was sure it would raise in such a heart as hers generous compassion for the noblest lady on the continent; and i presumed, as my difficulties were not owing either to rashness or indiscretion, that she would also pity the relater. the story did indeed affect you; yet, for my own sake, as well as yours, i referred you to dr. bartlett, for the particulars of some parts of it, upon which i could not expatiate. the doctor, madam, has let me know the particulars which he communicated to you. i remember with pain the pain i gave to your generous heart in lord ls study. i am sure you must have suffered still more from the same compassionate goodness on the communications he made you. may i, madam, however, add a few particulars to the same subject, which he then could not give you? now you have been let into so considerable a part of my story, i am desirous to acquaint you, and that rather than any woman in the world, with all that i know myself of this arduous affair. he ceased speaking. i was in tremors. sir, sirthe story, i must own, is a most affecting one